Sunday, January 3, 2010

The Livejournal of Nathan Drake

Yo I just got this working
Startin this up to chronicle my journeys thru the jungle Im sure college will be! I dunno how much Ill post updates cause Im signed up for like 3 classes this semester and I expect a lot of late nights with the books...LOL Im shittin you, I can ace this junk with my eyes shut. I finished unpacking the last of my stuff and finally we got the mini fridge rockin! We can't get beers yet and nobody on our hall has a fake ID but I was like "Hey I'll break into the liquor store by climbing up the back side and in through the vents and swipe some beers" and now we got beers comin out our asses LOL! These hot bitches came by earlier and they were like "Oh hey you guys have a poster of Scarface" and I was like fuck yeah we do! Both these girls totally wanted me but prob not enough to go at the same time. Better watch out Chico State, Nate Dogg's coming at you a thousand miles an hour!
Posted by natedogdrakedog 5:27pm Sep 3 2000

My adviser is a total douche
So I was a little late to this meeting. I was walking across the quad but then this dude fell off his bike right in front of me! And I just grabbed the bike and like started riding off towards the student center, cause I felt like that was the way to go, you know? But then people are yelling at me and the whole quad is staring, which is BS because I just did what I thought was right. I can see how people got mad but I didn't think that far ahead. That's how Nate rolls, you know? Then I got to the student center but the front door was locked and I didn't have my student ID. Ugh. So I climbed up a column in the courtyard and across these yellow bricks that stuck out of the building and I jumped up to a window so I could get in. But all this made me late and my adviser had a total cow about it but I was like, "Hold on dude, I have a total plan for the rest of my life."

I told him all about it but then he started giving me shit! It turns out there isn't even a major called Indiana Jones Studies. I asked if there was anything like Indiana Jones Studies and he told me to write Undecided on my forms. Which didn't answer my question at all, but I think they let you design your own major if you BS them hard enough.
Posted by natedogdrakedog 6:44pm Sep 13 2000

Oh my god I was so wasted
I hope my mom doesn't read this but we had the most amazing party last night and I did like 8 shots in 20 minutes and the rest of the night was just blurrrrrrrrrr after that LOL. After that I went out to the balcony and this hot babe was there and I was like "I'll jump off this balcony if you show me your tits" and she just laughed. So I said it again and she said she wasn't doing it so I jumped off the balcony anyway to show her I was serious. Cause you know maybe she'll show me her tits after all and I fell two stories onto the concrete and it HURT LIKE HELL. Man but with all the shots it wasn't so bad and I got up but I guess that that girl with the tits ran off crying or something when I fell. She doesnt know what she's missing. I climbed back up the wall to the balcony and the girls who stayed thought it was sweet and later I boned one of them. She looked all right but the first girl was hotter. There was almost a MAJOR CRISIS because I was getting it on with this girl but I didn't have a condom. She was all surprised, like why didn't I have one, but that's BS cause how was I supposed to know I was gonna get it on like right now? Nobody thinks that far ahead but I found a flavored one in her roommate's desk and that worked fine I guess.
Posted by natedogdrakedog 11:06pm Sep 26 2000

This school is so easy
So first of all, I've been in this Ancient Languages class for a damn month before they finally let us read some real old stuff. It's all history and that might be okay but none of it is the kind of history where you can get treasure. All wars and plagues and crap. It's cool if some people just love reading, but for most of this NOBODY got any money. They just found something out and their fellow dorks thought it was cool. So what? Anyway we got copies of some ancient manuscript and I gotta say it was the simplest stuff I ever saw. The squiggles are just obvious, I dunno how to explain it. So I just start reading and next thing I know the teacher's like "Nathan, what do you think the passage means?" So I told him, cause nobody's gonna say Nate Drake's a dummy, and it's freaking obvious so screw him. But then he gets all up in arms, like how do I read this dead ancient language I've never seen before? I don't know what he was trying to pull because those squiggles were easy as hell, so I was like SCREW YOU and I just WALKED OUT LMAO! I'm not gonna be part of some joke I don't understand. I'm not worried about the teacher because I do all the homework and stuff. They're not allowed to fail you if you do the homework.
Posted by natedogdrakedog 2:55pm Oct 10 2000

So I was running from some explosions
Just on the way back from lunch with three hot bitches at the student union. They were out of pepperoni pizza so I just said screw pizza and got a sandwich from that Subway they opened last month. These bitches were all talking about how fine their asses are and how much they love gunfire and rough bonings. That was cool but eventually I had to get back home cause I was out of hair gel and I needed to go home to get more hair gel out of the cabinet. The front of my hair needs to stay fuckin vertical at all times or Nate Dogg's not looking fly. Anyway on the way back this big truck plowed into the quad and it fell over. There were sparks everywhere like ffffssssshhhhh and eventually something exploded; I dunno what part of the truck cause I don't know shit about trucks. But it blew up so I was running from the fiery wreck as it rolled behind me. Eventually it ran into a tree which fell over and knocked down another tree which almost crushed me. And this hottie is just kinda watching the whole thing, so as I run by her I yell "GOT WOOD?" Cause it's a tree, right? But she doesn't even say a thing and I couldn't get her number cause obviously I'm running from explosions. What a frigid bitch.

In other news I'm rockin my classes and sorted my shit out with that adviser. I went back hoping I'd get a different guy but I went into my office and it was the same dude. Talk about unlucky, but Nate Drake is all about adapting to the situation. Like that time when I drank that whole aquarium but my roommate Doug was like whaaaaaa and so I made myself throw up just the fish and one of the rocks. I kept the treasure chest cause is Indiana Jones giving treasure back? Maybe to Nazis with guns, but he's taking it right back afterwards. Anyway I filled out the forms and the adviser dude said to check Sociology so I did. I don't really want to do magic but I said I was cool with like, learning to dodge magic spells. The adviser said that was okay as long as I signed the form so I signed it and he let me leave. Rack up another win for the Drake Dogg!
Posted by natedogdrakedog 1:21pm Oct 25 2000

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